thebootydiaries:

My friend: what’re you smiling about ;)

Me: nothing

My head: tutant meenage neetle teetles

shakescene:

shakescene:

i don’t mind the idea of being a high school level literature teacher, but parents would hate me

re re re re re: “the great gatsby gay”

| would you prefer for me to lie to them? fuck you janice i have tenure

snarky-gourmet:

snarky-gourmet:

sleep makes me so mad tbfh do you know how much shit i could get done if this flesh prison didn’t require literal hours of laying there in a state of unconsciousness

that being said if you deprive me of my sleep i will Cry

marshmalllow:

Average height boys r suspicious to me…..always so medium….probably hiding something. and short boys always so angry about being short. and tall boys r too scary and more mass volume to store evil. there is no peace

my surprise soup themed wedding

saddestblogger:

me: *rolls a single can of soup down the isle before I start walking*

guests: ?????????????????????????????

me: :)

where-is-the-apple-juice:

sebastlianstan:

Uptown funk would’ve made it onto the shrek soundtrack

that’s the truest statement i’ve ever read

hotboyproblems:
“this is my dream job
”

hotboyproblems:

this is my dream job

melanin-majestic:

treygotguap:

Girls will say they busy and be in their bed relaxin or sleep

Sounds busy to me

goldenpoc:

Tbh if someone can’t bring out ya ugly laugh then they not for u

mothsfuzz:

THINGS TO ROMANTICIZE

- going 2 bed on time

- healthy romantic relationships

- eating without worrying about calories

- living alone

- non-traditional career paths

- loving yourself

- being old and happy


feel free to add on!!